Humanity in me

23:14, date…, month…, year…

30 minutes ago, my mother called, we talked for 20 minutes, she only asked about my health, told me a few small stories about my younger brother. Before hanging up, my mother just said: "It's late, go to bed early. I'm going to bed now!". It seemed like there was a bit of sadness in her words. A month before deciding on the school to fill out the university application form, my parents did not put any pressure on me. But I knew what my family wanted for me. I knew what my parents expected of me. In the end, I still chose my passion.

Putting my phone away, I remembered what my mother said when I told her about my choice of school: “We will always support you!”. It seems like I was being too selfish…!

Date…

Yesterday, my dad called to ask about me, and gently reminded me to come home this weekend. I knew he wanted me to change my mind, so instead of trying to convince him, I got angry and told him I couldn't come home because I was busy with school. After three years of high school away from home, three years of living independently, I gave myself the right to decide everything, thinking that I was old enough to leave my parents.

My father called me again and coaxed me: “If you pursue tourism, you will have to be away from home a lot in the future, and you will be alone. You have to think carefully. Let your parents decide for you…” In the end, I still chose my passion.

Date…

The days of waiting for the university entrance exam results were extremely frustrating, easily making people irritable and angry. Since finishing all the exams, I was extremely disappointed, but I did not show it on the outside. I was disappointed once, my parents were disappointed ten times: the exam results were not as I expected. I just hoped that luck would be on my side… In the end, I still chose my passion.

………

Date…

People who study for twelve years will eventually reap the rewards, but I have wasted my parents' efforts, expectations, trust, and love. SHAME - was the first thing that came to my mind, disappointment for a silly mistake. I chose passion. In the end, I failed the university entrance exam.

The three words “failed university entrance exam” made me fall, fall very painfully. I was looking forward to my second wish…

………

The last diary page was blurred, the words were no longer clear because of tears. It had been two years since the last time I wrote a diary, the diary contained so many memories, so many moments of my carefree, thoughtless student life, contained the first pure emotions of life, contained tears, flipping through each diary page, all the memories seemed to come flooding back, appearing clearly. It had been two years, I no longer had the habit of writing a diary. I am currently a second-year student at the University of Social Sciences and Humanities - Vietnam National University, Hanoi, this was my second wish by chance and I entered the school like that. Two years were enough for me to start with a new love, enough to have a new passion, to discover new things about myself. The beginning was not easy for those who failed the university entrance exam to study their second wish like me: boredom, giving up. But my parents always supported and encouraged me, I thought differently in a more positive direction.

As a second-year student, it is probably too late to talk about university entrance exams and career passion, because until now I am not 100% sure that I love this major, but it is a new topic for me. To start a new passion in an environment that I have never thought of is unthinkable. My friends also wonder why I chose to study at this school? Why not retake the exam? Why not continue with tourism? I want to, I want to retake the exam, I want to continue pursuing my passion, but I am not brave enough to pursue it to the end. Many times I find myself giving up too easily, I can even give up my passion after so many years, so how can I persevere to the end with an unfamiliar major. I have walked halfway through my student life with Humanities, I have tried to change my perspective, tried to change my feelings; Humanities has given me many favors: new close friends, memories that are hard to find in other universities, let me discover an extremely interesting major - Library Information, gave me experiences, challenges that are very humanistic, activities that are very humanistic. So why don't I give my love to respond to that favor. How can I not love this school! Change to improve myself. I am changing.

A sister once asked me if I regretted anything, I answered firmly: NO REGRETS. Passion is a part of youth, everyone has their own passion to pursue. I used to have a passion closely associated with my school years and now I have a new passion closely associated with my university years.

I read on an online newspaper that: “It doesn’t matter how you start, it matters how you end.” It doesn’t matter that I stumble, what matters is that I stand up and continue to look for another ending, maybe that ending will be full of roses.