"Humanity - Sacred"

All people are born with the same problem.You have dreams for yourself. Me too, I used to dream a lot when I was a child. But then when I thought more, I realized how unrealistic those dreams were. Have you ever thought that your dreams were trivial, small compared to others? I never did because everyone has their own dreams, it partly reflects the burning desire of the soul, so no one has the right to judge it as trivial, even you. There are only unrealistic and realistic dreams. But its limits are very fragile, it depends on you. I used to dream but also destroyed it with my own hands as soon as it was "conceived". Thinking back on that time, I was in pain and tormented for a long time. I took away my own right to dream and put myself in my own shell, which now I think back on it could be the solid fortress that imprisoned my soul and was the place where only I could break it. You know, I literally came back to life when I destroyed that stupid fortress myself. I was lucky to have found my dream again after it died. People often say: “When one door closes, another door opens, what you need to do is stop waiting for the closed door, but find another door that is open for you”. I was happy to realize that the life of a 15-year-old child did not close, not as dark as I hypnotized myself like before. Do you know what the new door that opened before my eyes was? A bright future when I knew I loved something – a new thing for a middle school student. I knew about “university” – a concept that was a bit strange to an “autistic” person like me.

After entering high school, I oriented myself to block D, the block that I thought at that time had Literature - a subject I could "talk nonsense" or "float" even though I was not good at "floating", English - my favorite subject - I liked to immerse myself in structures, vocabulary fields or passionate melodies and Math was quite "difficult" for me but I thought I could try. But which school to study and what to study? You must have thought the same as me when you were in grade 12, it's just that I thought earlier than you, right? I was different from before, no longer depressed and quiet but talked a lot, loved life and loved myself more. I loved creative freedom, hated being constrained. And I used to think I would study at a school that was more social and liberal. And I chose Humanities. At that time, Humanities felt a bit close to me but also very strange. The school belongs to Hanoi National University, so I was afraid that I did not have enough strength to pass, to pursue my dream. But I am an ambitious person, so I determined to pass even if I had to take the exam again. After "transforming" my soul, I became very optimistic, but who can avoid anxiety when the university entrance exam - a threshold of a new life is near? I panicked again in my subconscious, but I never stopped hoping. I struggled in the chaos of thoughts and tried to free myself from the black hole of my subconscious - where I had been for a long time compared to my childhood. My parents, my relatives and I gave me other choices. I had wavered, I had wanted to throw away my dream again. But after I let it go, what would I get? Would I be sad or silent again or would I try to smile even though it was very painful? No! I was afraid that I would lose faith in myself and in the future. Humanities is very big in me, it gradually takes over a not small part of my heart. Sometimes I hypnotize myself with the vision of myself being a student of Humanities, going to school every day with pride and joy. And it seems that vision is the biggest motivation that makes me keep going despite some risks.

And I got into the school I always dreamed of. Soon, I will know, learn knowledge, experience from new teachers that is not like before. I will have new friends, be independent, experience and certainly have some stumbles. I am still excited and happy even though I have to leave my parents to study far away - something I have never done before.

I also had moments when I suddenly cried because of the intense homesickness and the shame of being in a foreign land. Could an 18-year-old girl from the countryside like me be surrounded by some temptation of life? I cried when I entered the crowd of strangers, entering a life where I was alone. How did I overcome that confusion? I was drawn into the lectures and stories in the teachers' classes. I was fascinated by the enthusiasm and sincerity of the teachers. I still felt inferior, but it gave way to the joy of learning new things, strange things, and diversity. Teachers were the ones who introduced me to the first life lessons. Friends were the ones who shared the loneliness of being far from home. Thank you Nhan Van for igniting my dream and helping me keep that flame of enthusiasm.

At this moment, thinking about Nhan Van, it is something very sacred. The love for Nhan Van has never diminished after the name Nhan Van came into my life. I feel so lucky to have set foot in this school, to receive knowledge and life lessons from the lecture halls that are now familiar to me. Nhan Van is so dear and close. Every time I have something difficult to share with my friends or whisper to my mother, I unconsciously go to school, sit under the cool green trees in the school, there is something here that soothes my soul. The sadness in me waved goodbye to me. Nhan Van has truly been an important part of my life. It is no longer just the school where I go to study, but also a friend for me to confide in even if I don't have to say it out loud.

It's great to find your passion, right? But it's even more wonderful when you let passion enter your life and know it shines. Have you found your dream now or are you living for someone else's dream? Have you ever given up your childhood dream like me, only to torment yourself and live in the past? If so, think again, slowly, you will see that in this life, sometimes we have to give up to move towards what truly belongs to us. You!

That is “my” Humanity. And you? Close your eyes and look in some deep corner of your heart, you will see a beautiful light, though it is still weak. Do you know why? Because it has not been lit yet.