Vietnam in my eyes

I started living in Vietnam last September. I am studying Vietnamese here as part of my master’s degree in modern Southeast Asian studies. I came to Vietnam because I wanted to learn Vietnamese. Before coming here, I studied Vietnamese at Humboldt University in Berlin, Germany for a year.

I want to learn Vietnamese because my boyfriend is of Vietnamese origin. His name is Minh. His mother is from Ha Tay and his father is from Thai Binh. Every weekend I often go to visit his family. His uncle sells tofu in the market and I can talk to the customers. It's funny because they often ask: what does a western woman do in the market? I'm learning Vietnamese because of my boyfriend. Because family is very important to me, I want to be able to talk to his relatives. Of course, his parents speak German. I hope I will speak Vietnamese better than they speak German. Ideally, one day I will be able to speak Vietnamese so well that I can understand everything my friends say to our children. We don't have children yet and we are not married. But if we do have children, I want to teach them two languages. Children should learn to speak both Vietnamese and German. These are the reasons why I learn Vietnamese.

Minh's family is very nice to me and I am happy to visit them every week or month. Especially a little girl named Tuyet is very happy when I come. She calls my name, Ms. Le, and runs into my arms. I like to play with her and also help teach her. Minh's cousin and I cook together for the whole family. I have learned to cook many Vietnamese dishes. I can cook salad, soup, spring rolls, tofu, eggs and vegetables. I really like Vietnamese food. However, I do not eat meat. I am happy because my friend's family always cooks vegetarian food for me. The food is delicious!

At the beginning of September, I found it difficult when only women worked in the kitchen and men drank tea or watched TV. But then I got used to it. In Vietnam, there is a clear separation between men and women compared to Germany. I can adapt well and behave like a Vietnamese woman. If possible, I also invite men to help in the kitchen. But that is not the case in Thai Binh. It is very traditional there. In my boyfriend's mother's family, the men can also cook a little and help in the kitchen. Especially when there are big family gatherings, most of the men help. It is different in Thai Binh. Only male children help in the family. But the older uncles just give orders. I like Ha Tay better. There is a rule that the youngest person in the family has to cook. And if the youngest person is a boy, he will do it without any problem. I think that is good! Men and women should always take turns, no one should do more than the other. Gender equality is very important to me. I like to help, because it is easier for me to do direct work than to speak Vietnamese. I can help even if I don't understand everything. While cooking, I can learn and observe at the same time.

Being accepted into Minh’s family gave him a deeper insight into Vietnamese culture than most international students. In Ha Tay, he attended many funerals, weddings and village festivals and was also introduced to everyday aspects of Vietnamese culture. He was very grateful for that. He went to the market and helped with the rice harvest, he swept the yard or did the laundry. These were normal things but very different from what he did in Germany.

I also visited my boyfriend's family during Tet. First, I went to Thai Binh and then I went to Ha Tay. I like the atmosphere at my mother's family more than my father's family. Because Ha Tay is near Hanoi, I can visit my boyfriend's mother's family more often. Of course, I understand that I am very good with them. But there is another reason why I like my mother's family more. The two families are very different. Because the family in Thai Binh is a little more educated than the family in Ha Tay. Maybe educated people are more worried. When I was in Thai Binh, I felt that my family was afraid that I did not understand them. That's why no one talked to me and I tried to talk to them, but I spoke very slowly. This was not a problem in Ha Tay because people just laughed when we did not understand each other and we tried again. Especially an aunt there understood me very well. Aunt Thu is the tofu aunt. With her, I always sat in the market for a long time, and I had time to talk slowly. She quickly learned to understand my broken Vietnamese. I am happy every time I visit her and her family. If I had to say goodbye and go back to Germany, I would cry.

In September, I lived in Ha Tay for three weeks. Because my birthday was in September, my boyfriend's family and I celebrated my birthday together. All the children came and sang for me. I didn't know that everyone was preparing a birthday party for me and I cried with joy. September was a long time ago. It's sad that time has passed so quickly. Now I only have about two months left in Vietnam. But I will come back many more times. I might also live longer in Vietnam, for example when I have children. I like Vietnam, the people, the language and the culture. But there is one thing that bothers me, and that is the lack of environmental protection. I have seen a lot of pollution. And that makes me very sad. A Vietnamese friend of mine said that Vietnamese people are very selfish, and would rather throw things away than dispose of garbage properly, because disposal costs money. People only think about themselves, not the environment. But in a few years, people will be affected. But I think there are other problems with garbage. Every day I read in the newspaper about water, air or sea pollution, which is very sad because Vietnam's nature is very beautiful. That's why I don't eat meat. Because you can survive very well without meat. There is a lot of protein from plant products. And animals cause more garbage and more water pollution. Besides, it consumes a lot of water until an animal becomes meat. But that's just an individual solution. Actually, the Vietnamese government will have to ban and punish more. In Germany there is still a lot of room for improvement, and people understand how important it is to protect the environment. I think Vietnam has the potential to become a very sustainable country. Vietnam can be a model for other countries. There are many natural energy sources such as wind, sun or water. It would be great if Vietnam could use this potential and become a model country for ecotourism. In Vietnam, I see garbage everywhere. That is why there are so many rats and cockroaches. Most of the garbage is just burned or buried in large landfills. This is very bad for the environment. The gases produced pollute the air and the toxins from the garbage in the secret area also seep into the surrounding land and drinking water. Anyway, there are many problems with water in Vietnam. I wonder how the woman I saw in Thai Binh could just pour a bucket of chemical paint into the creek in front of her house, even though it was completely dark and smelled terribly. Didn't she understand what she was doing? Wasn't she stupid? Or was she just lazy? Or was there no proper infrastructure for it in Vietnam. Politicians must definitely do something so that future generations can still live here! Things like this can't continue to happen. I'm so happy to fly back to a clean Germany!

But climate change affects us all. So you also need to think about what you can do to make your life more sustainable. Maybe you can buy a refillable water bottle instead of buying a new one every time you feel thirsty. Maybe you can carry a washable container with you when you buy food. Maybe you can cycle or walk instead of cycling every 500m. Maybe you prefer to travel to Vietnam by train instead of flying. Maybe you carry a washable cloth bag when you go grocery shopping. Maybe you separate your rubbish and help the earth get rid of natural waste. Maybe you buy a little less, or put food in the fridge instead of throwing it away. Maybe you stop printing everything and prefer to use your laptop or phone when reading documents. These are small things, but we can do them as long as the policy does not cause any consequences from climate change.

We have to change things, otherwise this world will no longer be beautiful for us and our children.