Because I'm still young.

I'm typing these lines one evening as summer begins in Hanoi. My first year at university, located more than 1700 km from home, is also coming to an end. While tidying up my belongings, I suddenly noticed that some items I brought with me and cherished when I first started university are now lying around in a corner of my closet. I realize how quickly a year has passed.

A year of new experiences; in just one year, I've had so much. Two semesters have passed, leaving behind a little disappointment with the illusions of the "paradise" of university life that people often talk about. A little tiredness, a little boredom, a little regret, and many moments of hesitation.

I received a lot of advice, encouragement, and comfort. Everyone said that having many experiences is good, that everyone goes through this, that I'll get used to it eventually, and that I'm still young.

Yes, I'm still young.

It seems that youth is always something beautiful, something wonderful. Those who came before us often mention it with nostalgic emotion. So many people have written about youth, praising it day after day. Some say youth is the high school years, others disagree, arguing that as long as you're still in school, even university, you're still in "youth." Still others say youth is before marriage. Many other opinions about youth suggest that it's not a matter of time but rather an emotion, or compare it to countless memories of loving and giving your all. I still remember the joke my classmates made: "Thanh Xuan is just a district of Hanoi, and Tuoi Tre is just the name of a newspaper," and I always find that remark amusing.

People liken youth to "springtime" because spring is the most beautiful season of the year, the beginning of everything, and green is the freshest color in the spectrum. It's no coincidence that people always praise youth with such beautiful and wonderful words and images. No dictionary can clearly explain the meaning of the word "youth" with just a few repeated definitions, and nothing can definitively say who is right or wrong amidst the debates.

Youth. It's the period when you can be considered mature after a process called "childhood," even though you're still quite young. It's the age when you possess all the elements that give you the courage to dream and pursue your dreams. You use your energy and vitality to chase childhood desires, accumulating experience for later life as an adult, unafraid of failure, unafraid of difficulties, unafraid of confrontation. Only youth can bring us the most wonderful and freshest feelings. Only youth is most suitable for everything; it's the time when human health reaches its peak, and the spirit is at its most enthusiastic. I've read reflections from those who came before me; they don't regret the things they've done, they regret what they haven't done."If only I could be young again, I would...", "If only I could turn back time", "If only...", "If only I didn't have to say 'if only'."Some regret missed opportunities, some regret unspoken words of love, some regret wasted time on pointless things, while others regret the days slipping by so quickly without having time to accomplish anything.

People use their youth for many different purposes. Some focus on studying, working, and perfecting their lives, waiting for the day they hold a top-notch degree or a CV full of experience and achievements in their hands. Others pursue their passions little by little, doing what they love and fulfilling their dreams. Some always contribute to society and help others. Still others use their youth to love, care for, and pursue the person they love. Each person has their own reasons for protecting their youth, and even if some praise them or others ridicule them, no one cares anymore, once it's what they want to do.

But somewhere, there are still a few bewildered individuals watching the hurried pace of life, watching young people throw themselves into life's journey, looking back at themselves, looking back at the days gone by, feeling disgusted with life, disgusted with their own safe shell. At times, they are adrift in the voids of their thoughts, and at other times, lost in a myriad of worries.

I used to spend long days just doing predetermined things: waking up every morning, going to school until noon, doing some chores, reading some random articles online, eating, and sleeping. That was the life I considered fine. From a young age, we've all been chasing after goals. After finishing primary school, we try to get into secondary school, then high school, then university, then graduate, find a job, build relationships, get married, have children, take care of the family, and then... there are so many "thens" after that.

There are still times when I stand behind that safe shell, secretly observing the world outside where others freely pursue their desires, and feeling a pang of envy. Sometimes I feel like I'm just a pale color, a backdrop for the vibrant hues of a painting created by others. I watch time slip away minute by minute, second by second, without knowing what I'm pursuing or what I want to pursue. I haven't found the courage, I'm still wasting what I have, and sometimes I just want to hold onto the hand of the god of Time, asking him to stop for a moment so I can rehearse alone before truly facing the challenge. Days pass, nights come, and nothing truly changes.

I reached out to many people, complaining and telling them my troubles, and everyone advised me to stay calm, encouraged me to go out and experience things, and as usual, reminded me that I was still young.

I'm still young.

The day I decided to go study far away, my parents finally reluctantly agreed. It was my first time traveling by bus, and watching the scenery outside the window constantly change, with my hometown behind me and the distance growing ever larger, I cried because I missed home, felt anxious, and was afraid. I realized I was entirely responsible for this decision, for rejecting a school near home to pursue such a distant dream all because of a vague passion.

But thankfully, I've never regretted it. I've always felt that this trade-off was worthwhile; there are many kinds of experiences you wouldn't know unless you tried them. Through this huge decision, I've experienced the stark differences in regional cultures, met people I'd only read about in books, and visited places I'd only heard about or seen on TV. It was from this distance that I learned what it felt like to sit for two days straight on a train along the North-South railway line, experienced flying, and knew what it felt like to intensely miss home and crave the food of my hometown. I used to think that if I stayed close to home, I wouldn't know when I'd ever been able to do any of these things.

Then I participated in a few activities, tried my hand at several fields, seized many opportunities, and I also had to take responsibility for all of this. I received a lot of scolding, but in return, I also received a lot of encouragement. I learned what pressure is, what real shame is. I interacted with many people, worked with many different personalities, and built a few relationships. Of course, not everyone's youth follows the standards of novels, and it was the same for me. I lacked experience, wasn't good at speaking, and often messed things up. Some people were hesitant to speak, some were direct, and some laughed behind my back. If it were my old self, I would have been very worried, but now it's okay. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, and I'm lucky to have the opportunity to try and learn from my mistakes.

People often ask, why make such crazy choices, why do you want to do so many things? Well, maybe it's because I'm young.

I'm young, and before I get old, I'll do everything I want, regardless of whether it's right or wrong, even though I know there will be times when I regret it.

Thank you, youth, for giving me the courage to do things I never thought I could do. Thank you, youth, for helping me grow, for pulling me out of the shell of old ways of thinking. Thank you, youth, for letting me experience the most exciting things. Thank you, youth, for giving me faith in the future.

You can visit Hanoi's Thanh Xuan many times, but the youth of your life only comes to you once, just once.